When someone comes to you with a problem - a co-worker, friend, member of your family - do you find that as they talk you feel like their worry is transferring onto your shoulders and you then feel stressed about what has happened to them as much as if it had happened to you? Have you ever stopped to think about how damaging this can be? How can you protect yourself from getting taken out by other people’s ups and downs?
While it is OK to lend a supportive ear, it is not healthy to take other people’s problems on board as if they are your own. Imagine if you did that with everyone you know, you’d be a mess! And it would be difficult to live your own life because you would be so caught up in the woes of everyone else’s experiences. Remember the saying ‘Life is not a dress rehearsal’…
Listening is good but assuming responsibility for other’s worries is not OK. Practice drawing the line between the two. It won’t make you any less helpful, in fact, it is likely to prove more helpful because you will be keeping the focus firmly on whoever is talking to you rather than getting caught up in what is happening for you as they speak. It will also help to protect you from going under everytime you get sidelined with someone’s problem. Surely you have enough problems of your own to worry about, right?
Read more stress relief tips for moms…
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